The Heart of the Human Problem — The Problem of the Human Heart
Big Vibe: “I want closeness, but I don’t trust it.”
Core Beliefs:
- “I’ll be abandoned—and it will hurt.”
- They long for connection, but fear betrayal, disapproval, or sudden loss.
The Wrestler fears being abandoned after opening up → “You’ll hurt me when I let you close.”
Wrestlers live in a push-pull storm. They crave deep connection, but their IOS is programmed to say, “Don’t get too close—it’s dangerous.” This forms a unique pattern of approach–avoid.
Values (Protective Investments):
- Guarded closeness
- Emotional vigilance
- Hyper-responsibility for peace or connection
- Spiritual intensity as a replacement for felt safety
Common triggers:
- Mixed signals or sudden emotional shifts
- Inconsistent authority or unstable leadership
- Feeling both “too much” and “not enough”
- Spiritual dryness interpreted as rejection by God.
Spiritual Practices:
- Name the flip: “I want closeness and I’m scared.” Say it out loud to reduce whiplash.
- Slow the switch: add a 10–15 minute pause when you feel the urge to bolt or control; breathe/pray a short line (e.g., “Be with me here.”).
- One small repair, not the whole overhaul: ask for one specific repair step instead of cycling fixes.
- Consistency over intensity: choose regular, brief check-ins with one or two steady people (and one steady leader) rather than leader-hopping.
- Pray from, then about: share the felt truth with God first (“I feel abandoned”), then pray about the situation.
- Track wins: notice any moment you stayed present 2–5 minutes longer than usual; celebrate that.