The Heart of the Human Problem — The Problem of the Human Heart

Chaser pattern fear being left, so their attention locks onto preventing rejection by intercepting anything that could push others away.

Core Beliefs:

- “I’m alone.”

- “I’m not considered.”

Values (Protective Investments):

- Being needed/chosen (“If I’m essential, I won’t be left.”)

- Holding things together (keeping peace/connection)

- Shaping the story (managing timing/tone to prevent distance)

- Feeling indispensable/central

Common triggers:

- Silence/delays; mixed signals

- Feeling left out, less important, invisible, ignored (what I say/need).

- Not feeling cared about.

- Unclear expectations/ambiguity

- Loss of God’s felt presence

Spiritual Practices:

- Begin with belovedness: “You are my beloved” came before Jesus did anything (Mk 1:11).

- Root identity in love, not usefulness: “I’m loved even when I’m not needed.”

- Be with God, not for God: Sit in quiet presence—no tasks, no fixing.

- Pause before response: Breathe; soothe your body, then engage.

- Receive without performing: Say yes to care/prayer/help—no explanations.